


Missed you

by Shadow_Blaze



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, College Student Eren Yeager, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-12 02:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Blaze/pseuds/Shadow_Blaze
Summary: His eyes...I couldn't move..Nor could I breathe..This can't be happening again..Eren finds himself in a situation he has never been in before and he is confused about his feelings





	1. It started today

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh summary ><

Today I just knew something was going to happen, I had woke up with that feeling in my heart and I couldn't shake it off . I don't know what to call it my "gut" feeling maybe.. Every time I seem to have woken with my "gut" feeling, only bad things have happened to me..  
The last time I had this feeling I almost died!  
I heaved a sigh. Nothing I say will make my sis, Mikasa, agree to let me skip college and stay at home.  
And so I got ready to go to college and face whatever it is that will happen to me today..  
I'm Eren Yeager, 20 years old and might be the most unluckiest person alive.  
No scratch that I'm lucky that I'm still alive..! Just as I was coming out of my room Mikasa came there and she looked happy "Well Eren, thought you didn't get up, good to see you up and ready" said Mikasa with a slight smile. I just scratched the back of my head and forced a grin. If I'm gonna die today I might as well spend it making her and my few friends happy. I looked at her, she was so pretty and smart and just so graceful. She tilted her head as if to ask 'never saw me before?'. I shook my head and I told "Thank you, Mikasa, for always being there with me". She looked at me wide eyed and started laughing . why did I say that again? I groaned internally I was embarrassed and threw I pillow at her. She caught it without any difficulties and said in between her giggles she said "Man I'd never thought I'd hear you say something like that. I think you have fever let me Check you're temperature, you do look quite red" she came forward and touched my forehead and I slapped her hand away "geez! Mikasa stop that will you" I said somewhat angry but after seeing her laugh I felt my anger melt.  
I even felt little better. I guess I won't really die today 

So much to hope, the next thing I knew I was on ground breathing heavily. I was clutching at my sides and my chest hurt. Everything felt weird. I couldn't move my arms or my legs. I couldn't breath

"Eren can you hear me!! Say something!" I could hear someone saying. I mean I wasn't deaf duh of course I could hear you but I couldn't speak I tried I couldn't.. "Breathe! One inhale. Two wait. Three exhale.. " breathe.. Yeah... One.. Two.. Three.. It felt so difficult to breathe but I was getting hold of myself.. How did I end up like this? I remember walking with Mikasa to college and then someone.. That person.. He was short and he didn't look up when he passed by me his shoulder dashed mine violently and I staggered back.. I could feel electricity flowing through my arm and immediately after that my heart started to ache... Did he do this to me?  
"he'll be alright.. He just had an panic attack" someone said to Mikasa. Panic attack? I've never had one in my life.. "Eren are you alright?" she asked me. Was I? Everything looked foggy and it was still hard to breathe but my chest didn't hurt like before so I guess I was fine.. I managed to nod and she helped me get on my feet. A person gave me bottled water. I was very thankful and emptied it whole and poured some on my face. "I thought you were gonna die, Eren" said that someone, who turned out to be my best friend, Armin. Die eh? It felt like dying.. Guess I should be glad I'm not dead. I was feeling loads better I managed to smile at him. Mikasa asked me then if I had had experienced anything like this before. I shook my head "N-No" I croaked then I cleared my throat and said again "geez it felt like I was having a heart attack you know" I grinned trying to lighten the mood. "Idiot" Mikasa grumbled and hugged me and Armin joined in too. In other circumstances I would be embarrassed like hell but now it felt strangely comforting and I let myself be comforted by my sister and my best friend, whom in my whole life I couldn't afford to lose.. 

The rest half of the day was full of blur events. We were late to college but when Mikasa explained what had happened they gave us office pass and sent us off.. We met during lunch break.. We usually ate in the garden outside but today It was gloomy and was pouring so we were sitting in the college cafeteria.. Mikasa dropped her tray next to me and sat down, Armin sat in front of us. Mikasa looked around "Do you have any idea why you got that panic attack that time?" she asked me. Why no! I told her so. And she seemed to nod and poked at her food and Armin started to tell what had happened today day in class.. I couldn't concentrate.. I was thinking of that man I dashed into.. Could it be possible that it's cause of him I felt all panicky? But I don't even know him it's impossible! "Eren..? Are you listening?" Armin asked looking little annoyed with me "uh yea.. I mean no.. I'm sorry, it's just that today has been a rough day" I said and sighed. His patted my hand and said soothingly not to worry about it and I flashed him a - you're the best- smile. "Anyway I was just saying we have a new professor for math and I heard that he's very rude and difficult to deal with" he said. I had my mouth full of burger and so I just nodded. Great! I had math after lunch today. I mean how bad can a professor get right? Guess the proff was just having a bad day  
Right? 

WRONG! 

Because as soon as I finished eating I made a beeline to my next class. Didn't wanna get on the bad book of the new professor and guess what when I opened the door he was already there. He had bent down to pick up the piece of paper fallen on the floor and I had a perfect view of his ass.. He was.. Something.. I again couldn't find myself able to move.. He had clean undercut hairstyle and a perfect body (and ass) and just at that moment he decided to turn his head and look at me.. 

His eyes... 

I couldn't move.. 

Nor could I breathe.. 

This can't be happening again.. 

I forced my self to breathe.. He was so handsome.. His jawline was just perfect and those eyes, those stone cold eyes.  
Time seemed to have slowed down. I could only see him and nothing else, he said something which I couldn't hear but he looked annoyed which snapped me out of my dazed State and someone, I think Jean pushed me from the door where I was standing. I couldn't catch myself and I found myself fallen across the floor. I could see a pair of super clean shoes from where I was currently and immediately got on my foot, very much humiliated. "If you really wanted to clean my shoe with you're tongue you should've said so before" the new prof said clearly unamused and sarcasm dripping from each word he said.. But his voice was so sexy..I couldn't get angry with him.. And then I realized that it was the person who had dashed me today morning.. I half walked half ran to my seat and covered my face in my hand.. God I hope I don't embarrass myself anymore.. 

As If it was even possible..


	2. Levi..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey you, shit face" I said as I walked towards his table. He didn't seem to budge and he seemed all sweaty and red. His mouth was ajar and it looked like he was having difficulty in breathing. I frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not that good but I need all of you're support! 
> 
> There's a change in point of view in this chapter.
> 
> The quotes withing the "*" are to *emphasis* things

When the bell rang, everyone settled in their places and I still had my hands covering my face! How I wished this hour could end fast and I could go home far away from this man! What did I tell you about my gut feeling? Ugh! I was so mad at Jean.  
I could literally hear him snickering behind me..  
I buried my head even deeper in my hands.. I could feel goosebumps down my neck like someone was pointedly staring at me. I had literally no energy to lift my head.  
"I want everyone's attention here on *ME*" growled the older man, his voice was low and steady. At the same time intimidating. Suddenly I jerked my head up to look at him and regretted it immediately, he had those eyes. Those stone cold eyes which had murderous rage in them. Yet I couldn't stop staring in his eyes.. I wanted myself to get lost in his deep cold eyes..  
Then he looked away from me, around the room and seeing that everyone had his attention took the marker from the table and wrote his name in his perfect handwriting.. I could only stare at his face the way he was so concentrated while doing some simple task like that. Then my eyes started checking out his body and stopped around his ass. I had these thoughts of reaching out and pinching it.. How would he react to it? he turned around and I caught myself... Blushing? He must have noticed me becoming red coz he sent an annoyed glare in my direction. God what's wrong with me!  
"My name" he said "is Levi and I expect you brats to call me professors Levi and nothing else. Clear?" whole the time he was looking at us like we disgusted him.. I sunk deeper into my chair and didn't look up the whole period. I couldn't concentrate on what was going on. My heart was beating so loud I was scared that someone could hear it. He seemed so familiar to me that it hurt. It hurt so much.. I could feel tears well up in my eyes but why? I *never* met him before! Why do I feel like this?! 

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard "... Levi" 

 

**Levi's POV**

I hate him! That fucking brat he just *has* to come in front of *me* like that.. When I saw him today morning laughing around with that girl I swear I wanted to kill him.. Ugh! I pushed past him as hard as I could without making it obvious that it wasn't on accident. I couldn't even bring my self to see his face and that girl, who was she even. I went away without turning back. I only hoped that I won't see him again but life just hates me as much as I hate it! He was in my damn class with other annoying shit faces. I tried not to stare at him all that much and concentrate in what I was teaching. And I could feel his eyes on me and I actually liked it ugh! The way he looked at me all confused and like a lost puppy.. I found myself melting away...  
The brat seemed to have dozed off and I was not going to fucking wake him up.. I'd rather not see that annoying face again.  
But I wanted him to know that I least cared about him and decided to insult him in such a way that he should never be able to look at me with those pretty eyes of his again.  
"Hey you, shit face" I said as I walked towards his table. He didn't seem to budge and he seemed all sweaty and red. His mouth was ajar and it looked like he was having difficulty in breathing. I frowned. His classmates seem to be laughing about something and someone whispered Eren was gonna be so dead when I catch him dozing off. Didn't I feel like punching them? Yes I did. Of course I couldn't being their teacher all.. I tried to shake Eren and still no response.. I gluped and bent down towards him "Hey.." I said with little less venom in my voice but he didn't move. At all. I could feel my heart beating fast.. My palms were becoming sweaty. God please don't do this again to me.. By now there was a huge crowd surrounding us.  
"Is he alright, sir?" some girl asked with a very concerned tone, it bugged me. "the fuck do I know." I snarled.  
I was getting impatient, the same girl seemed to have gone and got a glass of water.  
That boy who had pushed Eren also seemed very upset.  
"I guess he had an heart attack" someone murmured from behind me.  
These brats were pissing me off every second.  
That girl was sprinkling water on Eren..  
He made a small noise. I perked up and grabbed his arm "Eren.... Eren wake up" I said *'please'* though I didn't say it out Loud..  
"..levi"" he murmured... It was so low I didn't think I heard him correctly but then,  
He said my name.. I never knew just hearing my name could have this effect on me.. My heart it was beating so so fast. I could feel myself losing it. I closed my eyes trying to gain my sense of control which seemed to have lost somewhere and then suddenly I felt him squeeze my hand. Well, fuck! Everything in me exploded and I could hardly breathe.. I so wanted to-

"Eren! EREN!" Someone girl screamed from the classroom door. That was enough for me, to gain my control. I looked around, trying to see if anyone noticed any of *this*  
Everyone just seemed focused on that brat. Thankfully no one heard him say my name.. 

Or maybe he didn't. Was I imagining it? 

"Eren are you alright?" said that girl  
I turned around to see that it was, in fact annoying brat who was with Eren that morning.  
I clenched my fist and got up not wanting to meet her eye. Eren still was holding my hand. I tried to pull it from him. But he only held it more tightly.  
He looked so cute...  
His breathe was getting steadier. Good sign, at least he's alright.  
I forcefully pulled my hands off his.. "Stupid sweaty brat" I murmured under my breath.  
Eren had opened his eyes now. "Mikasa.." he said and smiled a little. The water girl and another boy with yellow hair tried to lift him up. And I watched them carry him and go out.  
Eren turned around and looked directly at me..  
He said two words before he was lead away by his friends..  
The two words that made my heart skip a beat.  
Which made me want to cry and also punch someone. I sat on my the chair and looked around everyone in the Class. I sighed and dismissed the class.  
After everyone had gone out of the room, I recalled the words that he told me.. Played it again and again in my head and smile to myself like a teenage girl who had a crush.

 

Because He had told he missed me..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else see the similarity between Levi and Feitan from hxh?


	3. Eren's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eren" he called me.  
> I forced myself out of my thoughts and I realized that I was staring at his hand all this time.   
> I turned to face him and his face.. His beautiful face was staring right at mine.. I couldn't read his expression but it was so close to me..  
> I couldn't move..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh*

I could only feel someone holding my hand.   
I didn't know who it was, but that touch had steadied my breathing and my heart beat. I couldn't hear what others were saying around me. I could only concentrate on that person's hand.. It was small and just fit perfectly in mine.   
Then they tried to pull it away.   
I panicked.   
He's leaving me again. I know he's going again!   
NOOO!  
I held on to it tightly like my life depended on it but that person pulled it away anyway. I found myself not being able to breathe.  
I forcefully opened my eyes and in front of me was... Mikasa.. Of course it was her!   
But I felt little.. disappointed? why, whom did I expect to see in front of me? I looked around and rested my eyes on the prof.. He was looking at the wall behind me with the same bored expression.   
Was Mikasa holding my hand? No.. Her hand was soft and I don't know..   
I smiled at her..   
When I was unconscious I had a strange dream. Someone whispered in my ear that he won't ever leave me.. I couldn't see his face but.. He seemed so familiar..   
I didn't wanna wake up from that dream but thinking about it hurt me more.   
I let Armin and Sasha carry me out of the room  
-Well, Eren it's been a long time right?- someone whispered in my head. I closed my eyes... Levi...   
I turned around and saw him staring at me. I smiled at him..  
I missed you I whispered. 

"What was that about?" Armin asked me confused by what I had told.   
I shook my head and shrugged. He continued to look at me suspiciously. We were now in our college clinic. I and Armin were alone in the room. Mikasa was talking to Dr. Hanji. She was bit crazy but we could rely on her to treat us properly. I was staring at my hand.. Armin had told me that it was prof Levi who was holding it.   
I felt some warmth settle in my heart. I couldn't shake off the smile that played on my lips. 

But that still didn't explain what was going on. I had never met Levi before and why the hell did I say I missed him?   
It felt like I missed him...  
I couldn't explain what I was feeling. I looked at Armin and found him staring intently at my face. I knew that look very well. He was trying to read my thoughts.   
"You know.." he started "you can tell me anything, I'll try my best to understand " Maybe I should tell him. I mean he was my best friend and he helped me understand so many things I didn't understand about myself.   
I started to tell him how I felt but I was interrupted when Hanji entered the room with Mikasa. Armin looked little disappointed, he really wanted me to tell him. "later" I managed to tell him. He pated my hand and smiled. "You sure you never had panic attacks before?" asked Hanji. She had a notepad in her hand and was continuously scribbling notes. Mikasa answered in behalf of me, saying that it was the first time she ever saw me like this.   
Hanji suddenly moved very close to my face. I closed my eyes coz ugh It was awkward she was so close. She moved my head to the left and then to the right with her fingers.   
She got back up and I opened my eyes with a breath of relief. I could see Mikasa and Armin trying to hide their laughter. I glared at them both.   
Hanji grinned at me and winked "it's normal to have these attacks, Eren" when I looked at her with a confused look and she continued "you'll know why, pretty soon." she patted my knee and went out of the room leaving me as confused as ever. Does that mean that this will continue? And what bugged me more was.. I always had these panic attacks when Levi was around and I had math almost everyday. Does that mean I'm gonna be like this all the time? I shut my eyes sat there in silence for next 5 mins or so when Mikasa said that we should go home. "I thought you had class right now" I told them. Armin sighed and said that Levi had dismissed the class and so they were free to go home. I sighed in relief I didn't think I could face prof after what I had told him. It was Friday that meant I could avoid meeting Levi until Monday. I had two days to gather my thoughts and understand what was happening, and I would come fully prepared on Monday.   
But you know things never go the way I want, right? 

Armin stayed with us that day. We ate pop corn and watched movie whole night. Though I'm sure he decided to stay coz he was concerned that I was going to have one of my attacks again. We were sitting on the small couch in our small living room, which had one average sized TV and just enough space for 5 members to sit. Our parents gave us this apartment once we turned 18. They said we need to learn how to adjust and make a living from this, so that we know how much difficult it is to maintain a home. Mikasa and Armin were very much hooked on the movie. I glanced at towards my two best friends thought again how lucky I was to have them.   
I reached out and hugged both as hard as I could, which was kind of awkward from the place where I was sitting but It didn't matter. The hug startled them both but soon we were all a laughing mess, the movie long forgotten. We seemed to have dozed of on the couch itself all huddled together. Mikasa was the first to get up and she went to prepare break fast.  
"Good morning Eren" said Armin in a husky tone, yawning. "Morning" I said and smiled.   
"So... We're going to the library right!?" he asked me like a eager puppy, all shiny eyed. I groaned internally I hated libraries! Silent place is just not suited for me. Armin's grandfather owned the library and we used to volunteer every once in a while to help him. It was usually boring and I didn't enjoy it but I went anyway just coz Armin's grandpa was a great man and working there made Armin happy. 

"Sure thing!" I replied to the question he previously asked making myself sound as enthusiastic as possible. 

After eating breakfast and cleaning up we were walking towards the library. It was old and many people didn't come here but whoever came here would never go anywhere else coz.. This library was strangely comforting. I used to feel like I returned home when I went to this library.   
Armin's grandpa greeted us with his broad smile and gave us each a mug of coffee. All we had to do was arrange the books and dust the shelf. I went to my usual place. It was somewhat hidden and no one used to be there but highest number of books were misplaced in this corner itself. I sighed and got to work. I liked this place because no one usually came here. I mean I told that already.. I feel like I have to whole place to myself.   
It's been around 30 mins since I started working and I was exhausted. I took a random book and sat on the floor. It was a position where I could see everyone who came this side but I was hidden from their view. I opened the book and started reading, when I heard someone coming this way. I didn't bother looking up, let the person have his privacy while searching for his book.  
And very soon I realised the book I was reading was actually gay erotic porn book. Shit. I found myself becoming red. I closed the book immediately. At least no one saw me. Or so I thought coz when I looked up that person was staring right at me and that person was none other than Levi! Curse my luck right?   
"didn't think you'd like something like that" he said and gestured towards the book I placed next to me. I found myself blushing profoundly. "uh. N-no I-" I was stuttering. God what was wrong with me. He continued to stare at me and finally walked away to the table opposite of where I was sitting. I felt myself leave a breath which I didn't know I was holding. Why did he have to see me with *that* book! And I was slightly hurt that he didn't ask me to sit with him and why would he? He barely knows me. I sneaked a glance towards him and he was busy reading his book.  
He looked so concentrated.. The way his brows creased together..   
And I felt the strange warmth settling in my heart again. I didn't fight it now, I enjoyed that feeling. I wished he could've sat with me on the floor, hidden from everyone.. But of course he didn't like dirt and he was a clean freak. I smiled little and then my smile dropped. How did I know that? He didn't, we never-   
I didn't wanna think about it.. All I knew was Levi was there, We were hidden away from others and I wanted to be close to him and so I got up from my place and tried to walk towards him. But my legs were weak and wobbly. I felt out of breath.. I so wanted to reach him... Touch him...   
I slapped myself lightly. He's your professor, Eren I told to my self.   
I still made my way towards him not Making a noise. "Hi" whispered cause it was a library, also because I couldn't find my voice.   
He looked up at me frowning and I felt myself cowering from that stare. If he was surprised to see me, he didn't show it. I could feel my heart beating fast and I grabbed the table to steady myself. I forced a smile. He rolled his eyes and pointed to a seat next to him. I readily sat down coz if I was standing any longer I would have collapsed. I was very aware of how hard I was breathing. He went back to reading his book again.. I just started up at him.. He was so close to me. If I just moved little ours knees would touch. The thought was so appealing but I didn't dare move. What if he didn't like it? For all I know he didn't even know my name! It was a bad idea to sit here. He was my professor after all and I was just a student for him. I felt myself becoming strangely sad..   
"uh I think.. I should go?" I half asked half said him. I didn't wanna go but I couldn't let my hopes up. He turned around and faced me directly and frowned more deeply than ever "why?" he asked his tone held a little hint of.. Hurt?   
Maybe I'm imagining things.   
I shook my head and didn't move from my place. It had not been 5 mins when I started loosing control. I wanted to hold his hand..  
Like I did that day..   
I wanted to do so many things with this man I hardly knew..   
"Eren" he called me.  
I forced myself out of my thoughts and I realized that I was staring at his hand all this time.   
I turned to face him and his face.. His beautiful face was staring right at mine.. I couldn't read his expression but it was so close to me..  
I couldn't move..   
He sighed. Wait, How did he know my name? I opened my mouth to ask him when all words died in my throat. He had grabbed my crotch! I gasped. He moved his hand just little up and squeezed  
That feeling! Oh my God that felt so good!  
I couldn't breathe.   
I let my head fall on the table  
I still couldn't grasp what was going on.. My breathing was still ragged..   
When he got up and left  
He just left.


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "captain.. " he croaked, with his eyes half open.  
> "Shh.." I pulled him closer to me, and slowly Kissed his forehead..  
> His grip on my waist tightened..   
> "I love you, Levi... " he whispered. " Stay with me forever.. "

**Levi's POV**  
What was I thinking? Ugh! I couldn't be more disgusted with myself. I sighed. I should not even have left him like that without an explanation. Well, fuck I don't care. I need to get a hold on myself. I cannot Allow that annoying brat to make me feel like this. I was thinking of all this pacing around my apartment when I heard a women giggling. I groaned and rolled my eye all the way up I thought I could see my brain. Life really hates me.   
"I can't believe you did *that*" said that women and started giggling again. I turned around and gave her my best I fucking hate you look, which apparently looked funny to her because she cracked up again. "You shitty four eyes. Stay away from me!" I said this as I threw at her the first thing I could grab on to, which turned out to be a remote. Hanji caught it with ease but now her laughter had dropped to a slight smile. "Aww my love, don't be so angry with me!" she cooed. It took everything in me not to kick her. "you should be thankful that I made you join our college! You finally met you're soul mate!! Isn't it wonderful, my love?" she continued. And now I didn't hold back, I started dragging her out of my apartment and she just laughed! "I hate you" I growled "If at all you *had* told me that *he* was going to be there I could-"   
"you could what" she interrupted as she adjusted her glasses "you would never agree to come here.. I only want that is best for you Levi" she said sighing and flopped down on the couch.   
Best my ass but it was true. I would never come here.   
My life would be so much easier without that fucking brat.   
"I don't want to be fucking anywhere around him" I was really furious and kicked the door so Hard my leg started to sting.   
She looked at me all wide eyed and winked  
"it's not true, you have been in lo-"   
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I howled. It must have startled her coz she just gaped at me. I sighed and made my way towards the couch and flopped down next to her. Eren.. I hated him so much.. I covered my face in my hands and just sat there. We stayed like that without moving for 5 mins when she put her arms around my shoulder and held me in an awkward embrace. I didn't pull away from that touch. Not that I enjoyed it, just that I didn't have any energy in me.   
"I.. It's unfair you know.. I just.. I got my memories when I was 15 years old" I blurted "you know how difficult it was for me to wake up every day to those memories and not find him next to me? Do you know how many nights I slept crying, wishing, that I could just see him? You wouldn't know.. And then it occurred to me that it was easier to just hate him."   
"Levi.. But he's finally here.. You should be happy right?"  
I laughed bitterly at that. "Like hell Hanji. He doesn't even remember. All this time I suffered because I couldn't see him! But now that he's here and seeing him not remember me.. Seeing him right in front of me and not being able to be close to him.. It's the worst kind of suffering..."   
Hanji just patted my back, which should have been comforting but I was in no mood for any comforts. Looking back she was the first person to actually tell me what I was and what my memories where. It's a total different world now.. "you know you should give him a chance" she insisted as she was stroking my back. I just nodded. Maybe I would. 

After that Hanji went back to her apartment, which was next to mine and we both had each other's spare keys.   
I cleaned my already clean room, did all the house hold chores and finally laid down on my bed. It was still bright outside and I was starving. But I was reluctant to get up.. Since when had I become this lazy? I continued to stare at the ceiling lazily and all at once I was dragged into my past.   
My previous life.   
I was there laying on my bed, unable to sleep and staring at the ceiling, half naked. I was content. There was a body pressed hard against me, arms wound around my waist. I turned around just a little to stare at the sleeping figure.   
His face was just next to mine, so close. I pushed the hair out of his eyes and touched him slowly, scared that the beautiful sight may break under my touch..   
"captain.. " he croaked, with his eyes half open.  
"Shh.." I pulled him closer to me, and slowly Kissed his forehead..  
His grip on my waist tightened..   
"I love you, Levi... " he whispered. " Stay with me forever.. "

I clutched my bedsheets tightly.. My chest hurt and my breathing was uneven.. This always happened every time I stumbled upon a memory. Eren.. Why do you make me suffer so much.. I closed my eyes trying to gain control on myself. I was drenched in sweat and decided that I should take bath.

I made my way to my spotless clean bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. 'We obtain different personalities in new life' Hanji had told me 'I'm still my good old self but there are some things different in me'   
I was indeed scared that Eren would have different personality. Or me. Maybe I've changed. I sighed took a long shower and determined that I would make Eren remember.   
After getting dressed, I went outside to grab a snack. I never eat outside, who knows how clean their kitchen is and all but I wanted to meet Eren and there was no possible way for me to know where he would be. I looked up at the clear blue sky "I know you hate me a lot, just this time do me a favor and let Eren be there." I don't know how fate works but I wanted the odds to be in my favour for once.   
I made my way slowly to a near by pizza place. It was moderately crowded. I stood outside for 5 secs. What would I do if he was not there? I went inside and was hit with the strong smell of cheese.   
I made my way to back of the room. I scanned every table to find him. Nope. No sign of Eren Yeager. Since I was actually hungry I ordered a small pizza without really seeing what I had ordered.  
Pretty soon my order came up.   
I was staring at the door to see if Eren would enter.   
I took my time eating each slice. And I was down to my last piece and still no sign of Eren..   
Fate didn't really want us together eh?   
Just wanted to play with us..  
I finished consuming calories. There was no point in loitering around. I got up to leave. When the bells chimed and 2 familiar heads came in.   
One was blonde and other was brown.   
I quickly sat back down.   
He was here. Eren was here. I could feel my heart racing. God I really felt like a teenage girl having crush. I made my way to the counter again and ordered tea (they served tea in this pizza place wow). I could feel two pairs of eyes on me, which I pointedly ignored. When I turned around I was face to face with Eren. He was all flushed and.. He looked cute. I smirked at him and went back to my table. When I looked at them again I saw that the fucking blonde brat holding Eren's hand and whispered something to him and Eren immediately smiled at whatever he told.   
I gritted my teeth. I wanted to go drag Eren away from him and make him sit on my lap. I closed my eyes and took a sip of my tea which calmed me. When I looked up again Eren was staring right at me and seeing that he was caught looked away. Was he blushing? Aw cute. My fucking brat.   
I waved at him just slightly and he broke into a huge grin which made my heart skip a beat. I came here to make Eren recall and no amount of blonde could stop me from doing so.   
Eren came straight to where I was sitting. "Can I-" he asked breathlessly. I raised my eyebrow and he continued, resembling a tomato "Can I sit here..?"   
I smiled slightly and scooted just a little, enough for him to sit.   
I saw his blonde friend holding a pizza and making his was towards us. Eren quickly sat down next to me. And he sat opposite to us.   
He sat in such a way that any part of us didn't touch. Even though we were so close..   
I felt rejected. I wanted to press against him, to feel his body but he-  
All my thoughts were halted when he placed his hands on my lap. My breath hitched. He moved his hands up and down my thigh. I felt myself shivering.. Annoying brat you just wait!


	5. Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren kind of remembers and stuff.

**Eren's POV**

I could only concentrate on him and my hand. I didn't know what I was doing but Levi didn't try to stop me. I continued to place my left hand on his thigh.   
It just seemed natural. At least I'm not groping his penis right? 

After Levi left the library, I was stuck there unable to move. It seemed to have happened a lot lately.   
I was mad at him for leaving me like that without any explanation but I also craved for his touch. I tried to contemplate the situation.   
I closed my eyes and swallowed. I was slowly recovering from the shock of what had happened. 

And then it happened. I remembered. 

"Eren.. Say my name" someone whispered in my ear. I felt shivers running down of my spine. His voice was low and incredibly hot. He was standing behind me so I couldn't see his face. I found it difficult to understand what he had said and next thing I knew he groped my crotch, a little too violently. I gasped and closed my eye. He started rubbing me. I moaned.   
"Say my name and I'll let you go.. " he whispered again and gave a little squeeze.   
I heard him Clear this time. I also knew he was true to his words and he would stop as soon as I said his name.   
I didn't want him to.   
I liked this.   
Hell, I loved it.   
And suddenly he withdrew his hand. I bucked up my hips trying to feel his touch again but he moved away. I was very disappointed I wanted him to do so many things to me. He slowly came in front of me.   
"Captain..." I whispered. It was dark and I couldn't make out his face but he held out his hand as if to stop me from continuing.   
And left. 

 

"Levi.." I moaned his name. I was brought back to reality and I was unknowingly touching myself. I groaned. It's good nobody came around this corner. I didn't know what was happening. It felt so real as if I had lived it. And I had this huge noticeable bulge that I needed to take care of.  
I want him.  
It was like a flash of memory.  
I sighed.   
"Eren, what are you doing..?" asked a familiar voice from behind me.   
I quickly placed a book on my lap trying to hide it and laughed sheepishly "Nothing. Why?"   
He looked at me suspiciously and sat down next to me.   
"You know I saw our professor leaving.." he said still suspicious.   
"Yeah, he was here" I mumbled.   
He raised his eye brow and started grinning "Right! Explains why you're so flushed and why a book is covering your lap" he teased.  
I was very embarrassed and I swear if I'd seen a mirror I might have looked like a cherry "Wh-What do you mean" I stammered. He just laughed and winked at me.   
I hid my face and groaned.   
"Hey, you can tell me you know" he smiled soothingly. 

And I spilled my guts out, not like there was much to say. But I felt loads better when I did. 

And what did he do? He laughed. He laughed so much tears started pouring out of his eyes and he continued to laugh until I threw a big fat book at him. "Aww Eren it hurt!" he groaned. I just growled at him. 

"Soooo.. He groped you and left?" he teased   
"Armin please!!"  
He laughed and said "you know, you should take revenge" he winked "and as for that dream u got.. It's a memory you know" 

I glanced up at him confused. "you'll remember on your own" he said "only thing you should know is welcome every memory. Don't fight it" 

"You mean like we have lived before?" I asked him and he only smiled at him. 

We finished our work in the library and had the rest of the noon off. I, Mikasa and Armin were slowly making our way towards our home.   
"Do you also get those memories?" I asked Mikasa.   
"huh? What memories?"  
"Nothing" chipped in Armin and smacked me on my head.   
"Not everyone remembers their past! Only few people do! Do go telling other people about it" he hissed at me.   
I nodded and kept quite the rest of the way. 

I was starving, I realized. I told it to them and Armin suggested we go to the near by pizza place.   
Mikasa had a date and so she didn't join us and that is how we ended up here. 

I stole a glance at Levi my hand still on his and saw him smirking. I was beginning to get nervous. I looked at Armin for help but he looked very busy eating his slice.   
I took a slice myself. I was a clumsy eater and a bit of cheese got smeared on my lips. I licked it off completely unaware of the gaze the older man was giving me.   
"Damn you brat.." I heard him mutter under his breath.   
When I looked at him, he was still sipping on his tea.   
"Oh yikes! I have an emergency! I gotta go" Armin announced waving his cell around and left even before I had a chance to ask him about it. I knew very well he didn't have any emergency.   
It was only us now, along with a piece of pizza.   
"So uh.." I started to say and stopped immediately.   
He had this look on his face. He looked angry. I withdrew my hand from his lap and gulped.   
His stare didn't waver.   
He moved his face close to mine.   
'is he going to kiss? Oh God why was I eating pizza!' I too leaned in and closed my eyes..   
I could feel his breath on my cheeks.   
And suddenly he moved back.   
I was left hanging again, for the Second time that day.   
I was pissed.   
I refused to look at him.   
I felt so horrible.   
I must look like an idiot!   
Then I felt him slowly tugging at my hand. He leaned close and whispered "Not out here in public.. I'm still your professor"   
I looked at him then, he was so close to me. His expression unreadable. I nodded. I wanted him badly. I recalled his face from my previous memory.. It held the same expression.   
I let myself lose it. I slipped my hand inside his t-shirt and he hissed.  
"let's go to my place you shit head" he growled.   
He caught my hand and impatiently tugged on it.   
The piece of pizza was long forgotten. 

Who knows what's going to happen next..


	6. Together?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't turn out to be like the way Eren wanted.

**Levi's POV **

We exited the pizza place and slowly made our way towards my apartment in silence. I didn't mind the quite, it helped me gather my thoughts.   
I briefly glanced at Eren. He was a nervous wreck and kept fidgeting. I rolled my eyes at him.

I was pretty nervous myself. I wanted to be with him for so long! It took everything in me to not kiss him. He looked so rejected when I pulled back that time. I wanted to slap myself for doing so. I could hardly restrain from tearing off all his clothes and just... Doing it. 

His fingers gently graced mine. It was intentional I could say. I smiled internally. Something warm settled in my heart. No one was around so I gently took his hand in mine. His hand was warm and bigger than mine. 

I felt him sigh as he squeezed my hand gently.  
The warm feeling in my heart was shifted to my entire body. His touch was delicate. It was pure. It was something I couldn't explain. Yet, I couldn't stop smiling. I stopped walking and looked up at the sky and silently whispered a thank you. 

**Eren's POV**

When Levi had stopped in front of an old apartment, realization set in.

I'm gonna do it with Levi. 

I felt myself blushing at that thought. I didn't want to mess up this. But it was gonna be my first time! And With Levi! 

Levi had held open his apartment door for me to enter. His apartment was bigger than mine and spotlessly clean! The blinds were closed and it was just the right amount of light in the room. Not too bright nor too dark. 

While I was admiring the view of his home, I heard a soft click. I turned around to see Levi had closed the door and was leaning on it.   
He had this serious look on his face. I couldn't quite read his expression. 

We just stared at each other I don't know for how long. I mean what are you supposed to do now? Was he waiting for me to make a first move?!   
I had 0 experience in this. But recalling from my memories, it was always Levi who would make his move first. 

Levi's expression had changed. His eyes traveled from my head to my toe and back up and smirked. I couldn't help but blush and look down. 

"it's been a long time" he whispered right in my ear! I didn't even see him move! He placed his hand on my hip and kissed my ear. I stumbled back and hit the couch. I closed my eyes. I could feel my skin burning every where he touched! 

My hands automatically attached itself to his lower back. I wanted to kiss him. I opened my eyes to look at him and he looked.. So handsome. He was so close to me biting my cheek. I placed my palm on his cheek and his eyes met mine. I learned forward. Our lips were mere centimeters away from each other. His hands were now around my neck and mine on his back. I closed in the gap and his hand covered my lips. 

I opened my eyes to look at him. And he refused to meet my eye. Did I do something wrong? I could feel my heart tearing itself into pieces. He walked away into the kitchen and left me alone in the leaving room. 

I was so close. I almost kissed him! My heart aches at the thought of kissing him, in a pleasant way. I sat down on the couch. At least he didn't tell me to get out. Maybe he wanted to remove the pizza breath. 

I glanced towards the kitchen and I saw him washing his face in the kitchen sink. 

I stared down at my feet and didn't hear him coming towards me. He placed a mug of hot coffee in front of me and sat down on the couch with me. We were barley touching.

"I owe you an explanation for this" he murmured. I nodded just slightly. I was pretty bummed out by this. 

I heard him sigh and take a sip from his mug.   
"I want this just as much as you do.. I've wanted this for years in fact.. " he admitted."but it didn't Dawn on me until just now that I barely know you" he explained slowly. I felt like someone had ripped open my guts and trashed it around! Barely know me? 

"What do you mean by that! Me and you we-" I started to argue. My voice sounded so squeaky that I stopped what I was saying. 

"No Eren... " he sighed sounding very tired "you met me hardly 3 times! The Levi you know is from your previous life. You don't know me. We're the same but we're still different" 

It didn't really make sense but I could see what he was trying to say. I groaned loudly. I just wanted to be with him. 

"I don't know Levi. I just wanna be with you. We can get to know each other. Let us be together" I pleaded. He shook his head. 

"Do you remember how u died Eren?" he asked me. I stared at him blankly. How I died? I shook my head.   
"I don't remember how I died either. How many people do u remove from your past life?" he asked again. 

"I remember only you.. And I think Armin and Mikasa though I can't see them as clearly as I see you" 

He nodded. "you see Eren, we all were in it together. But I don't remember any of your friends. Only my few memories with you. I don't want you to mix your memories with your feelings." he whispered. 

I took a sip of the coffee for the first time. It was bitter but it helped calm my nerves. He was right. I only remembered it today and he had his memories for years. "So you're saying we're not supposed to be.. With each other?" I croaked. 

"No Eren. Maybe we can.. The thing is you should keep all your feelings and memory aside and get to know me. Not the Levi you knew from your previous life." he said "in this life we all are something different from before.. And if we're together now.. You may not like how I am now and you would hate me" 

It was a lot to take in and I didn't know what to say. It hurt me very much to hear all of it but I knew it was true. And I also knew if I stay here with him any longer I'm gonna lose my control and start doing stuff which I would not regret. 

Levi got up from the couch and took our mugs to the kitchen. I stole a glance at his soft ass. I immediately got up from my place and grabbed it. I heard him gasp and I found myself grinning. 

He looked angry and before I knew it he smacked me hard on my ass. He started to laugh seeing my face, which must have been bright red.   
"This won't do brat. You need to wait" he winked at me and I felt something strange happening in my chest. He was different alright.. 

I made my way back home. I needed to think about this a lot. Let's just hope Armin is willing to listen.

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh okay so please review this and should I continue? >_<


End file.
